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left-handed lady.
chukulut.

I_love_chocolate_by_ch3rrycreamshaken
There is a feeling of love here.

strike out.

CSILV 10:24
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Thursday, December 30, 2010
Exam Fever

Exam is in one week time and I'm not ready for it at all! What will happen if the exam is just tomorrow? Seriously I don't feel like to study and sit for the exam this time, because of the exam I missed out a lot of things.

I missed out mission trip, Christmas, Sebana trip, farewell, Eden Thanksgiving. Who is gonna compensate for my lost?


<3 6:07 PM
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Wednesday, December 22, 2010
悲喜交加

短短的几个小时里真的发生了很多事情,参杂开心伤心的感觉一点也不好受。
开心的是买了一些圣诞礼物,伤心的是这几天要很省很省。

又是人的错,人说出来的话真的可以带来很大的伤害。
开始在意一个人的时候,也就是开始注意他对你所说的每一句话和每一个动作。

看了朋友们度假的照片,自己也哭了。
我好像被遗忘了。


<3 12:13 AM
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Monday, December 20, 2010

在电话一提起你,火都来。不管了,我现在只要可以过得了这一关。
考试,我来了。没有预备的来面对你,还是第一次这么的没把握。


<3 6:48 PM
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Sunday, December 19, 2010

我说我不睬你,我真的做得到....
等我调整好我的心情,我才和你说话。

我真的生气了,我本来就很小器的。
我知道这样的态度不能持续,因为我还有很多事要做。
要祝福人,要爱不可爱的人。
很难很难,不过现在生一点气总可以吧。

哼~



<3 10:08 PM
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Friday, December 17, 2010

忘了算这是第几次心碎,不过数也数不清。这一次,又再一次为你而感到心碎。都说了不是我不相信你,而是我太认识你。谢谢你,实现我对你的猜测。我决定,既然不能维持那就放手吧。你快乐,我更快乐;你自由,我更自由;哈哈哈哈~

无论如何,我还是要谢谢你。谢谢你让我更清楚知道我要的不只是这些,感激不尽.... 我要和你一个人说再见了。=') 而我做的事:友谊的相思豆是白捡的了。每次让我伤心的都是朋友,而不是情人。哈哈哈哈

我决定公开这里,可是不是现在。知道我觉得我真正预备的时候,直到我真正成熟的时候。这个部落格就会有公开的一天,我要让我爱和爱我的人知道这就是真正的我。我的过去,我的快乐与伤心和我对未来的琼景。



<3 8:48 PM
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Thursday, December 16, 2010
想起你了

和一个在金宝读书的小学同学msn了一下下,也让我想起以前读书的日子。虽然不是记忆犹新,但也忘不了这个人在我的纪念册里写了什么吧!我记不起全部的内容,但是却忘不了最后一句...

自从小学毕业后就没有和大家联络了,所以有小学聚会我都没有出席。我以前是班长叻!很凶悍的班长,你相信吗!开始想和大家见面的时候,却是升学的时候。去了好远好远,远得看不到边。不过,我一点也没变。想变,但是却变不了。

日子久了,就自然而然变得比较含蓄。哈哈哈哈!不过,在金宝见到了这位儿时的知己却也不好意思过去打招呼。如果让我再面对面看着你,可能我会脸红。很红很红的那种,哈哈哈哈哈哈!





<3 1:22 AM
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010
失恋?


夜深人静的夜晚,的确让人感觉到恐怖。现在这一股失落的感觉,会不会和失恋的感觉很相似。
我不知道,因为我从来没有失恋过。而失恋的感觉,会不会比现在的感觉还要严重。


我自认自己的朋友数不完,可是可以谈心的真的没有几个。对于朋友,我也抱着有所保留的态度,不是缺乏信任而是我没有信心踏出那一步。人不管到了什么年龄,都是需要被宠。刚才和一个新山的好朋友msn,虽然聊得不多。可是她却给我不少的鼓励,感觉被宠爱真好~

虽然我的家不是最温暖的,可是我也想回去~

Good night~


<3 12:31 AM
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Friday, December 10, 2010
Life is not short, but people make it short

Life is short but it cannot be measured, so it means not that short. But sad to know that people are trying to end their lives whenever they want, heard about 2 cases of young men ended their lives because of broke up with their girlfriends.

It is a sad thing to see people at my age don't know about Jesus, commit suicide and torture themselves.

Had an emotional week, how would I say? hmmm yes is emotional, I don't really like to being like this of course but I do wonder why people will feel this way and now I only know. It happens when you're seeing something and especially when you're all alone.

Seeing FGBJB TEENz GAP photos being uploaded day to day, it reminds me of those days I went to overseas mission trips as well. Seeing those youngsters that I don't know who are they and my peers/sisters/leaders being captured in the photos, sigh I think I can see a big GAP between me and them. Where should I go when I go back next time...

I know I'm thinking too far and too much, but I do worry the next phase of life when I go back. I'm stuck in between the working adult and also TEENz, the youngsters are too small and I'm getting old but not that very old.

I do feel I'm small sometimes, I know I'm thinking too much and started to be emotional, but I feel the limitations too. I cannot join mission trip, cannot attend TEENz Camp, cannot go vacation with my gangs in JB. KTAR holiday is just too weird compare to other colleges, that is why I'm gonna miss out the time catching up with my friends who are coming back from Aussie for holiday.

I miss my close friends, I miss home and I miss everything in JB.

Seriously, I don't even feel like to stay one more day in Kampar. I don't like to go for classes, I don't like to see classmates acting and see the bad news flying around the facebook. Feel like to throw my face at them, but Jesus taught us earlier on we shouldn't against them whatever they did to us. Finally, I think I break the record.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm trying my best to withdraw myself from the place and people that I don't want to see, this is to protect myself from evil and sins.

Ahhh.. What a long entry, super long time didn't blog in English and my writing is still smooth? hahaha


<3 5:33 PM
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Monday, December 6, 2010
《為什麼》lyrics with chords

為什麼

詞曲:吉尼

C

我曾經擁有一次幸福的機會

Am

我愛的男孩卻不能留在身邊

F Em Am

曾經自私的我不顧他的淚水

FG

失去後才發現自己有多後悔

C

我知道我們不曾許下諾言

Am

也知道我沒有資格為你流淚

F Em Am

可是一秒不見你的笑卻浮現

FG

今天起床我最想看到的是你的臉

C

為什麼我愛的人都不能留在身邊

Am Aadd2

或許幸福跟我真的不配

F Em Am

過去是我的罪希望成為你的誰

FG

奢求老天再給我一次機會

C

我希望我愛的人這次能留在身邊

Am

我會努力請你不要往後退

F Em Am

我會讓天不再灰希望成為你的誰

F G C

要跟你走得很遠 成為你的依偎



*看了星光,就有时会留意到这位背包歌手。她的词和曲蛮不错的,不错吧~

http://jeannieishere.blogspot.com/



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Saturday, December 4, 2010
我想要离开


忙碌让我又忘了这里的存在
而我却选择今天再一次的回到这里
每天的生活都在想自己是否能熬过今天
面对明天的生活只能用“dreadful”来形容
不为自己的忙碌让自己感到害怕

杂志算是大功告成了 成品也在自己的手上
不是我对自己的要求很高 但是我还是不满意
不是不欣赏自己的作品 打印出来的效果不怎么好
笨拙的手 粗糙的手 把杂志弄得不平坦
真的很想一把火烧掉
这样的感觉 竟然发生在我心情低落的时候

寂寞找不到人的陪伴 只好一个人出去走走
明天后天大后天大大后天 又会是怎样
想要回家却因为不想造成家里的负担
而选择在金宝渡过这四天 后悔但也得接受
这样的感觉也让我想离开单身的生活
享受有人带我去旅行的滋味
我知道这样的事不长久 所以也没什么奢望
可是我只想 离开这里 越远越好
有工作再回来 有任务再继续
毕竟 我也是人 我也有感觉



<3 1:34 AM
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